Armless Mary Dague

Greetings Patriots!

On this edition of Broken Patriots, we depart from the limbless variety and spend some time with the feminine persuasion. We’re going to talk about armless Mary Dague. This Sgt was a bomb technician. Her job was to dismantle bombs before they explode.

Safe to say she wasn’t very good at her job…

Now look at her. And don’t feel bad for her, don’t call her a “hero” or a “patriot” and get back to your comfortable life with arms. No! Point, stare and laugh. Call out all the things you can do that she can’t. And laugh at her misery.


Notice that her shirt isn’t ironed. Pretty sure she can’t iron anymore.

They literally call her Sgt Stumpy, it says so on her fucking shirt! I wonder if the bomb also ruined her face, cuz she’s ugly as shit. The monster can’t even commit suicide because she can’t pull the trigger.

Pretty certain she doesn't use the keyboard.

Safe to say she doesn’t use the keyboard

If I ever met her, I would give her an unopened can of coke. I wonder how she puts on tampons or takes out a used one. Or does she let the blood flow freely cuz it brings back memories of her arms? Does she give blowjobs or handjobs…probably blowjobs. And she’s probably awesome at it.

Women, if you join the army, this will happen to you. And your purple heart ribbon won’t heal your broken heart.

~ The Crypt Keeper